"This is a piss-take! Where the fuck are you?" hollers my boss down the phone at me.
"I’m in the newsagent, buying my lunch," I say, stood in the queue of my down at heal local shop.
"What the fuck?! What the FUCK!?" my boss enquires.
"Look, chillax," I say soothingly. "I’m sorry I’m running late, but this place is rammed full of common people buying tobacco and lottery tickets."
An uncomfortable silence falls over the shop. A woman with flaky skin squints disapprovingly at me.
The good me feels disgusted at myself. The defiant me wants to shout "it’s true!".
5 weeks ago