Monday, June 09, 2008


“Heh, I’m doing excellent time off,” I think to myself, curling my browning toes into the sand and gazing across the channel.

I’d stopped off to see Granny on the way. As Granny shuffled along through the day room on her fancy zimmer frame, a fellow resident caught my eye.
“It’s amazing what they can do for AIDS now, isn’t it?”
“I’m sorry?” I asked, slightly startled.
“AIDS,” she repeated loudly. “It’s much better than it used to be.”
“Well… I would have to say…” I mumbled, thinking to myself “Is it?”.
“Yes, they are so much lighter and easier to use now,” she continued, gesturing towards Granny.
“WALKING AIDES!” I shouted, unable to hide my relief. “Yes! Yes, it is!”

From there, I headed to Dorset and, despite one hairy moment where I had to contend with the lady on my Sat Nav sending me right whilst on the radio Beyonce urged me “to the left, to the left”, in no time at all I find myself on the beach and it’s not yet midday.

“I should come to the beach on weekdays more often,” I decide, casting my eye around my surroundings, deserted save for some sexy students ‘revising’.

I watch a tennis court-sized sandbank emerge 20 feet or so out to sea, thinking that if I repositioned my deck chair there I could quite possibly be the coolest man in Dorset.


Shane said...

On the sandbank: the coolest man in Dorset... way cool.

Getting to the sandbank: the most desperate man in Dorset... and a peculiar distraction to the revisers... A threat to the young people's educational performance and life chances.

Don't forget your sunblock.

fwengebola said...

'I like a nice bit of crack, me,' my Grandad once said.
'Crack, y'know; tail, poon, cabbage.'

Sorry. Tired.