A trouble-making friend of my sister’s recently showed her how to use the autocomplete function to show what google has been used for on a particular computer, leading to, I hear, my irate sister confronting her then boyfriend when a series of pornography searches came up. There’s a saying that is apt here, which isn’t “curiousity killed the cat”, but I can’t for the life of me remember it. Anyone think of it? In the meantime I’ll have to make one up:
“Don’t go peering through holes in the fence and then complain if your neighbour pokes you in the eye with a sharp stick.”
Anyhow, earlier today, my sister decided to employ this newly acquired technological know-how to check up on me (this internet savvy of hers doesn’t stretch to concealing the fact she’s been doing it). I was initially amused; naturally reader, I would never use the internet as anything other than a tool for communication and education. And even if, purely hypothetically, I were to – which reader, I of course never would – I imagine I would be adept at covering my tracks. You know, just supposing.
All that said, there was one particular google search of mine which had attracted her attention. You see, yesterday Chris Cope spoke of including the term "naked Asian teens on riding lawnmowers" as a means of increasing his google hits, which I had googled to see if he was yet the internet’s number one source for such material.
My sister now, I assume, thinks this is something from which I get a particular kick.
I cringed at first, but slowly it soon dawned on me that this could be the start of a fun new game: entering increasingly bizarre, and slightly porn-esque, search terms for her to stumble across. So far I have:
“erotic uses for the bacon slicer”
“gentleman" nun outfit”
“froteurism: must it always be wrong?”
What else can we come up with? And also, has google’s autocomplete ever landed you in it?
5 weeks ago