Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Boolean Logic

A trouble-making friend of my sister’s recently showed her how to use the autocomplete function to show what google has been used for on a particular computer, leading to, I hear, my irate sister confronting her then boyfriend when a series of pornography searches came up. There’s a saying that is apt here, which isn’t “curiousity killed the cat”, but I can’t for the life of me remember it. Anyone think of it? In the meantime I’ll have to make one up:

“Don’t go peering through holes in the fence and then complain if your neighbour pokes you in the eye with a sharp stick.”

Anyhow, earlier today, my sister decided to employ this newly acquired technological know-how to check up on me (this internet savvy of hers doesn’t stretch to concealing the fact she’s been doing it). I was initially amused; naturally reader, I would never use the internet as anything other than a tool for communication and education. And even if, purely hypothetically, I were to – which reader, I of course never would – I imagine I would be adept at covering my tracks. You know, just supposing.

All that said, there was one particular google search of mine which had attracted her attention. You see, yesterday Chris Cope spoke of including the term "naked Asian teens on riding lawnmowers" as a means of increasing his google hits, which I had googled to see if he was yet the internet’s number one source for such material.

My sister now, I assume, thinks this is something from which I get a particular kick.

I cringed at first, but slowly it soon dawned on me that this could be the start of a fun new game: entering increasingly bizarre, and slightly porn-esque, search terms for her to stumble across. So far I have:

“erotic uses for the bacon slicer”
“gentleman" nun outfit”
“froteurism: must it always be wrong?”

What else can we come up with? And also, has google’s autocomplete ever landed you in it?


Cleavers said...

Google has an auto complete function?

*goes to rapidly delete every cached page ever in laptop*

*then realises that I am the only one who has access to my laptop so doesn't really matter*

Jona said...

How do you get this autocomplete? Not that I have any less than respectable serches, I'd just like to know ;o)

Huw said...

Jona: quite simply, you go to google, and instead of typing a search term you merely click in the box - all the previous search terms should appear.

Curly said...

Trifle flavour condom with hairy pig

Little boys that like to dance with urinals

OldHorsetailSnake said...

"Do old ladies have the same size holes as when they started?"

(I wonder what Google would give for that one?)

Raggedy said...

The best part is how much fun you are going to have with this..Sounds like fun..

Have a great day!

surly girl said...

this is why the first thing i did on getting my new laptop was disable the autocomplete....

Rob West said...

First, I had to google froteurism.

Oh. I didn't realize that occupation had a name.

Second, to answer your question, I've done similar things, usually on my friends' computers. But I usually make up terms.

"Vaginal/rectal auto-spatulation" for example.