Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Fringe Benefits

My friend Emma got me this chap for my birthday, and because I'm a bit slow out of the tracks I only got started on him tonight.

If you don't know and cannot deduce his function merely via the medium of photography, basically, well, he's a head with loads of grass seeds embeddedd in the scalp region which should, now that I've watered him, sprout into an amusing green head of hair. With proper cultivation, this could lead to all sorts of fun and the styling of all manner of amusing bouffants. I thought you, readers, might like to share in my anticipation. And maybe help me not to kill him through neglect.

My instruction sheet urges me to "Personalize [sic] your Grow-a-Head by giving it a name. Stylize [sic] him with ribbons, bows, scarf, etc., let your imagination run wild". I don't know about the dressing up - that might be taking things a step too far. I do, after all, have an imagination which is already wild enough thank you very much - but I suppose a name would be suitable.

I went to proudly show him to Housemate Louise, but she just glared and after a moment announced:
"He looks well gay."
I flounced out, but was aware she might have a point. But I checked: it's his left ear that's pierced, making him a buccaneer by my reckoning.

So, a name anyone?

18 comments:

Ivy the Goober said...

I dunno, the name John Pee comes to mind. Maybe that is because I saw it in the background on that book spine. :)

It's a Chia pet sort of isn't it? I've always wanted one!

Huw said...

Bah! That was slack of me, leaving that there. I really must stop using the floor as storage space. Or, at least, tidy up a little before I take photos.

Please, don't let your decision be swayed.

Afe said...

Bruce the Pirate.

Tim-tambolini said...

What have you got him sitting in? Is that necessary for his growth or something. You need to build him a body or something. He'd look good on top of a clay body, don't you think. You could get modeling clay and fancy him a nice neck and torso then stick pipe cleaners in for arms. Perhaps even make him clay hands at the ends. He could make all kinds of gestures that way. Kind of like a Wallace and Gromit type of thing.

As for a name...you could call him Ira, after my dog, cause I did name a cat after you! LOL

Chris said...

My brother once had a sponsored Penguin that I named Chris Waddle (a UK reference)

He does look like a memeber of a low rate boyband, Barlow perhaps?

Cleavers said...

Huw?

/Ducks and runs for cover

Jona said...

We had one of those fellas a few years ago, we called our Greg (after Greg Bear who wrote Heads, but maybe you could call yours Bear ;o))

Whitford said...

Winston, clearly.

emaleejayne said...

I like John Pee.
I laughed out loud at that, thanks Ivy.

If not, maybe you could call him....Harry?

Me Over Here said...

Harold. As in "Harold the Armadillo".

Or, you could always have a Herman Hairy Head over there. You can never have too many Hermans.

AnonymousCoworker said...

Pheisterblurf the Mildly Incontinent

Chris Cope said...

Chia-nem (He looks a bit like Eminem at the moment)

Will Shady said...

Ha ha. Yeah, I think your Grow-A-Head buddy is gay. I'm playin'. I don't know how many plants my roommate killed last year from neglect. Hopefuly, you'll have better luck than he did. As for a name, I think Ziggy Greens.

Curly said...

Wasn't this guy in Postman Pat? No, wait - It's Chris from of Family Guy!

I think you should go buy some spray paint to dye his hair, pink.

dotdotdot said...

He looks a lot like Paul Gascoigne...

Astrid said...

Since he seems to scream out -o-, I vote for mister "Oki Doki".

Astrid said...

Or call him Clownfish, I personally think he, in the water, looks more like a fish than a human.

Monica said...

In America we call these Chiapets. Cha- cha- cha- chia!