Friday, October 14, 2005

The way to love anything is to realise it might be Lost

Edit: This was intended to be a topical Thursday morning post, but I've been locked away interviewing crazies all day all bloody week till silly o'clock.

I don’t know if any of you readers have been watching Lost (my powers do not yet stretch that far), but I’m going to talk about it anyway. Anyone been watching it?

Well, okay, so I decided to try and make the commitment to Lost when it started, and that’s saying something. I mean, 24 episodes? That’s almost half a year of weekly watching. I at least like to think my life is so unpredictable and conducted at breakneck speed that I can’t say for sure where I’ll be from one Wednesday evening to the next, let alone commit to being in the same spot same time each week for 6 months. It is for such reasons that I have resorted to box sets when it comes to shows like The Sopranos and 6 Feet Under (well, that together with Channel 4’s outrageously disrespectful scheduling), but like I said I thought I’d give Lost a go.

And well, it’s really starting to piss me off now. The show that is, not the staying in. I swear, after each episode I have less idea of what’s supposed to be going on than I did at the start of the hour. Superb editing and loud drum beats has thus far tricked me into thinking it’s a lot more exciting and clever than it really is. I am getting wise to it though.

Wednesday night, we had a really powerful scene, perhaps the best yet, where The Manchunian Hobbit was killed off. "Wow," I thought, "this is some pretty dark stuff." But then they bottled it, and he miraculously sprang back to life in a most groan-worthy fashion. I didn’t want him dead or anything readers, but I felt quite cheated that after one of the more truly emotional (and a little disturbing) scenes Lost has thus far managed to muster, the powers that be chickened out.

But I think what’s really getting to me though is the lead character Jack. He is such a whiney nobber. Brooding? Read Moody Prat. Deep & Thoughtful? Read Overearnest & Egotistic. Also, it seems necessary for Jack's eyes to well up with tears at some point during each episode, but an equally important aspect of the show is that he never actually cries. The transparency of what Lost is trying to convey here - that sure, Jack is a sensitive and emotional soul, but don't worry viewers, he's enough of a man's man that he would actually do something as wussy and un-heterosexual as crying. That might actually challenge you - really irritates me. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself or just cry, you bastard!!!" I screech at the telly each week in exasperation, "Crrrrrrrrrry!!!"

Jack, have a cry or get Lost

And what’s with that silly tattoo? Would you let someone with something like that operate on you? Imagine, you are just going under the anaesthetic when you see some plonker marching into theatre with a massive great stupid Aztec tattoo branded across their arms.
“No way, that mentalist is not cutting me open in a million…” you try to protest, but by then you are under, leaving your innards to be poked around with a very sharp knife by someone who despite supposedly having the smarts to get through years of medical training still thought that getting this unsightly set of scrawlings printed on their arm would be a neat idea.* Thankfully his designer scratches on his face have healed over, but when the hell is all that stubble going to finally become a beard?

Know what really pisses me off about it though? The fact that either way, I know I’ll be watching next Wednesday. And looking forward to it. Sigh.

*Abroad Readers Note: Us Britlanders are some 9 months behind some of you in the Lost stakes, so if Jack’s crazy tattoo is yet to be explained by the way of one of those laboured flashbacks that crop up at inopportune moments (“Son, all the men in our family are surgeons and expected to get these ridiculous tattoos” “I’ll do it! I’ll do anything for you! Oh man. I love you dad” “I love you too son, but because I am a repressed man, goddammit, who grew up in the 1940s I was never able to tell you. Now, get thee to a tattooist.”) then you must excuse me.


Monica said...

Theory in my (predominately gay) office is that Jack is actually gay himself. This is based on 1) the fact he has yet to snog hot-girl-who-likes-him Kate, and 2) there are no gays represented as present while they have managed to cover just about every other social fraction (black, white, asian, fat, young, crippled, and even Iraqi for chissake). So therefore, the writers probably couldn't have a gay guy do something as gay as cry, right???

According to the Americans and illegal downloading Brits I know it's about to get much much much better.....

deanne said...

Well I used to work with a financial analyst who had a bloody great Aztec eagle tattooed on his back, from shoulder to shoulder. It amused me no end to see it through his thin white work shirt.

Lost Shmost. I'm all about Greys Anatomy. It's just all too 'convenient' with Lost, characterwise. Like Monica says, they've covered EVERY faction, SO convenient eh? What are the chances I'd get stuck on an island with 50 freakin' chavs, dying to beat my brains out for my 50p, even though there's no kebab shop anywhere??

Jona said...

The BH was too irritated to watch by the third episode, but I’m sticking with it, if only to see who Sawyer pisses off next ;o)

Me Over Here said...

Alright, seeing as I'm from abroad, I won't spoil the coming episodes for you. Although I will say I'm not starting to get annoyed with the show, but unlike you, Huw, I love Jack. I am very much disliking John Locke...I suppose too much of him gets on my nerves with "this MEANS something" being said all the damn time.

And I have to agree with Deanne. I'm all about Grey's Anatomy. Such a good show, and I'm thinking about getting the CD in weeks to come.

Keep watching Lost. You may be more confused, but at least you'll keep up with the episodes.

Me Over Here said...

Correction: I meant I *am* starting to get annoyed with the show. Oopsie.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I can't believe I read this whole thing. I said to myself, pretty soon he will kiss it off as absurd theatre beyond help. But no. 3-5 minutes out of my life I could have spent on Shane....or Ken.

Curly said...

I'm gonna save this post and read it later (when I'm sober). I have every confidence that it's entertaining though.

Huw said...

Dee: Bah! I know you've been dying to talk about Greys Anatomy over your way but to no avail, so you're bringing it over here?! Stop that!

Similarly Hoss: No mention of the k-Word here please: this is a Ken Free Zone. It is bad enough that we have to shop in the same supermarket, without him popping up here too. So long as he sticks to Holloway I'll stick to Tufnell Park so the uneasy truce that Shane has worked so hard to negotiate may continue. Do you hear me Ken? Are you listening?

Curly said...

Don't commit yourself too much, Huw. You'll find youself panicking when you're not near a TV at 'Lost' time!