Monday, October 24, 2005

Think Again

Isn't it just the way that the week you are left mulling over some of the more pitiful offerings you've ever mustered and bemoaning the fact your blog has gone stale, someone pops up selecting you as a pick of the week? Well, it's nice to be appreciated*, but at the same time..? Pick of the week? For writing about Sprite Cans?

What of my London Walk? Or my winter's stroll across Hampstead Heath? Or the time I confessed to planting Class A substances on an ex-girlfriend's property? Or my sozzled visit to the Great British Bear Festival? Nope. It's my account of Sprite cans that clearly captured the people's attention. Great.

So, I'd been contemplating turning this here page purely into a Consumer Affairs site as that seemed the way forward, exposing the corrupt money men putting out shonky goods all in the name of a quick buck etcetera. Fear not though; I do seem to have been offered a pardon of sorts. Shane, who has clearly also been having similar sentiments regarding the downward spiral of My Thoughts Exactly, has made the proposal that there is a chance of redemption if I agree to offer up my services to investigate some of those many pressing questions out there that are troubling YOU, the readership. I think he was meaning eating beetroot and seeing if your wee really goes pink, that sort of thing. But you never know.

I can see this working. The concept I mean, not so much the beetroot, but that too. I'd be a bit like a modern day Johnny Ball, with a splash of Fred Dinenage and a smattering of Frank Spencer.

So, Readership. Set me a task.

* in all seriousness, cheers Tim!


Monica said...

I don't know who any of those people you mentioned at the end are, but just yesterday I was wondering why the lights always go out on the trains of the circle line. I guess that's not a doable experiment actually, more of just a "why the hell is that" query.

Jona said...

How about your day in pictures? But not just a couple of piddly photos, at least three an hour should do it, with students, tubes, buses, shop assistants and the rain.

Just a thought :o)

Chris Cope said...

Is it really impossible to drink a gallon of milk in less than an hour?

deanne said...

It's because of your dashing good looks Huw.

Set you a task eh? What sort of task? A creative writing task? A 'See if you can get round London, from Zone 1-6 on less than a fiver' task? A 'sit through Showgirls without once going "AHAHAHA!"' task?

deanne said...

OH and you know, I tried to sign up with BritBlogs, thinking "Well hey, I live in the UK, my blog is UK based" but apparently I "don't qualify" because of my Mongreloid Upbringing.

I feel so left out. How am I supposed to integrate fully, if no one will bloody well let me?!

Shane said...

Is it really true that if you drink a gallon of milk in under an hour - I hear it's possible (but I don't know for sure!) - and follow it with four medium sized roast beetroot, then you piss deep burgundy cream for 5 minutes solid?

Do you know if this is true Huw, do you?

Huw said...

Monica - Loose bulbs and cheap electrics. That's my bet.

Jona - That's not a bad idea actually. I'll try and pick a 'happening' day.

Chris - Oh, I'm liking this one: the milk I doth drink. But are we talking an Imperial or US gallon here? (4.55 litres vs. 3.79 respectively) I could start with the US target in mind, and see how I go.

Dee - Was that another jibe about my photo? Am I going to have to change it? I am not a signed up Britblogger myself either. How did they vet you? Is there some sort of citizenship test then? "Upon meeting a friend in the street, do you (a) whoop and high five, (b) plant multiple kisses on their cheeks whilst lifting them off the ground in a bear hug or (c) doff your cap and mention the weather?"

Shane - Your suggestion has been noted. However, may I add that I hope you are treating this with an appropriate degree of seriousness.

Lauren said...

Hi there! I saw your comment on my blog about CF and thought I'd come see what it is that you find time to write about. I must say, I'm quite impressed. I'll certainly be back!

Best wishes to you. I hope to hear from you again sometime.

Afe said...

Is it really impossible for a human to sneeze without closing their eyes? I want you to test this theory, preferably with photographic evidence.

Ivy the Goober said...

Can't think of a task - if I could, I guess I'd use it myself. But hmmmm "shonky" interesting word. I'm going to try to find an opportunity to use it tomorrow with everyone I encounter.

deanne said...

No! No jibe - the word 'dashing' is far too good to be used in any sort of piss-take scenario.

With regards to the 'gallon of milk' thing, I thought perhaps it would be a good idea if you read this first.

Curly said...

Bit of a Typ-Oh! there Huw - I wish that you had got drunk and gone to the Great British BEAR festival!! Now that would have been a great day to take photos!

"And here's me poking a Grizzly with a piece of red liquorice"

Ah ha! My task - would a Grizzly get angry if you poked it with confectionary?

Me Over Here said...

I'm quite partial to Jona's idea, but then again, my only basis for that is pictures are fuuuuuun, and milk is of the devil.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

What kind of meat is used in making Beef Wellington? (I do believe you can handle this, perhaps to show your superior research skills.)

Chris Cope said...

I think a U.S. gallon should suffice. Good luck. Apparently it's an impossible task.

Lippy said...

Huw, your blog's a riot, and thanks for stopping by! Now, onto more important matters, such as providing you with fodder - er, research material - for your 'new direction':

Why do streetlights go out as you get closer to them?

Surely streetlights are meant to simply go on and off. Not covertly watch you tootling closer and then spookily go off as you get within 10 feet, then flick back on again as you pass. It's just not normal, and I'd like an explanation please, so I would. Ta ever so!

zilla said...

I JUST saw someone try the "milk challenge" on TV a couple of days ago......he didn't make it. I can't wait to hear your results - if you try it, that is. I also read the link that deanne suggested....very funny! Good luck with the milk!

I also like the beetroot idea mostly because you said 'wee' and it made me laugh! Plus I think it would be pretty interesting if your 'wee' DID turn pink!!!!