Sunday, October 16, 2005

Can Can

I ordered in a pizza t'other day. An event in itself admittedly, but readers there is more! As I glugged on my Sprite I noticed something was amiss. Startled by a peculiar feeling I couldn't quite put my finger on, I ceased all activity to try and identify that which had perplexed me. A moment later and unable to do so (and also a little hungry), I retired from my bout of contemplation and returned to my delightfully greasy meeting. Pausing for a drink and... there it was again! Ever the scientist I was able to establish that the funny sensation was undeniably linked to the drinking of Sprite; something just nagging in the recesses of my mind. I drank again: hmmmm, tastes fine, but something is definitely up here... And then it struck me. I was having trouble getting a decent slug from the can.

A quick inspection revealed what I suspected: the hole in the top of the can was ever so slightly smaller than normal. Barely perceptible, but *I* had picked up on it. *I* am special like that.

Further inspection revealed that the can hailed from France. How interesting, I thought, this calls for a rigorous scientific investigation. Unfortunately I didn't have a standard UK Sprite can hanging around to compare it with and wasn't yet dressed, so going out and purchasing one was not an option I would consider (hey, why do you think I was ordering food in in the first place?). However, I had a few empty cans of Stella hanging around at the foot of my bed (ahem) and, ever the incompetent scientist, was more than happy to use these as a means of comparison.

I think you'll find that the results of my study, illustrated below, are most conclusive and speak for themselves. The question still remains though: why does the Frenchman require a smaller hole?



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Psssst! Did any other London bloggers receive an 'exclusive' email (yeah right) from Londonist t'other day, saying they'd made it onto Londonist's list of people they really wanted to see at their birthday party? More importantly, is anyone considering going? I'm thinking I might... Well, so long as I'm not stuck interviewing mentalists that night.

14 comments:

Afe said...

It's a well documented fact that Frenchmen's mouths are shaped differently due to the way they pronounce their "oohs" and "aahs" and "ouis", therefore requiring a slightly different shape in can holes, drinking fountains, breathalisers, and party whistles.

Curly said...

Sounds like the fans at an Aussie Rules game Afe!

But if true, would French speakers around the world also require different cans of Sprite? Is this why Sprite cans in Wales comes with a spit-catcher attached?

Interesting observation though Huw, I'll research the stella cans further for you.

Shane said...

Objection, your honour. The can of Stella is clearly closer to the lens, thus creating the illusion - yes, the illusion - that Frenchmen need smaller holes.

What price European unity?

Jona said...

Because it's easier to slurp with a smaller hole, and a lot of Frenchmen like to draw attention to everything they do ;o)

BTW is your new profile pic in preparation of Halloween?

Huw said...

Shane: Tosh. This is merely the equivalent of fiddling the axes (erm, as in the plural) on a graph. And we *all* do that. Don't we?

Debi: Indeed, I was developing a sipping vs gulping cultural hypothesis myself. As for my photo – I am deeply offended by the implication in this statement.

y-vonne said...

I did prefer the previous profile photo. This one is a menacing as, well, a bear.

Huw said...

Are we going to have to take a vote?

emaleejayne said...

I almost peed my pants in fright due to that new photo. Definitely provoked thoughts of Halloween. Grrrrrrr.

emaleejayne said...

Of course, look at my goofy head. What do I know!

Lucy said...

Oh my golly.

Killer punchline.

Chris Cope said...

I think the key problem here is that you were drinking Sprite and not Stella.

Me Over Here said...

A.) The Sprite can just looks funny in general (to me, at least).

B.) What exactly IS Stella?

C.) The photo doesn't capture the full "Wolverine-ness". Show 'em your chops.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Oh, my heavens. What a big mistake. They have sold you the ladies' size. I should complain, were I you.

Anonymous said...

Um, surely it wouldn't be that folks from the UK have bigger mouths?