Saturday, October 29, 2005


Well, it’s Saturday, and that means later on today I will be undertaking the Gallon Of Milk In An Hour task, as set by you, the readership. There hasn’t been too much trepidation ahead of today’s first experiment; maybe some nervous excitement though. I haven’t entirely decided how it’s going to work or my tactics. The milk is yet to be purchased but I have already decided I’m not doing whole milk: I’m sorry but half-fat will have to suffice. I’ll also need to figure out a way to measure out a gallon, as I’ll only be able to get hold of a 4-litre jobby, and I don’t want to try and drink a millilitre more than necessary. But these are just details; I’ll have it all worked out when the time comes.

The task, if you remember, was to see if it is really impossible to drink a gallon of milk under an hour. There are a couple of sidenotes which I’ll clarify here before we get started. Firstly, this isn’t a bet or anything: I am merely trying to provide evidence one way or another. Subsequently, the end result is not of great importance to me either way. I mention this in an attempt to try and reassure those who would question my methodology, my motives, my scientific credibility or (let’s be up front here) my honesty. Secondly, what wasn’t specified when the task was set is what happens directly after the gallon being finished (if indeed it is). If, say, I am sick directly afterwards, technically the gallon has still been drunk. Therefore, I hope you will allow me to take the liberty of developing the investigation and adding the stipulation "and keeping it down for at least 30 minutes afterwards or indeed completely".

I’ve done a little reading and asking about, and have come to the conclusion that there’s a fair chance that the task will, at least for me, prove impossible. But the good news is that apparently training can help, and even though I haven’t been specifically training for this task I am already a big milk drinker, frequently polishing off 3 litres in a day. But then, 3.8 litres in an hour may well prove another matter.

Well, join me later on, and there will be chug by chug updates.

If something bad happens, someone tell the police it was all Chris Cope’s fault.


Ivy the Goober said...

Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!

Afe said...

I believe in you.

And will be bitterly disappointed if you fail to deliver.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I do not fear for your health. I fear for your sanity. If any.

Mary said...

I can hardly wait for the results! I need something chocolate to get one glass of milk down, I'd need a whole cake to attempt something like this.

By "keeping it down" do you mean that it won't be coming out of your nose either? That would be somewhat disappointing....

Monica said...

Yo yo yo --

I've done a little research for you (in an effort to be co-author for anything you publish on this!)

One gallon is 3.785 liters. The density of milk is 1.030 kg/L (

So, 3.785 x 1.03 = 3.9 kg. Get a big bowl and, I'm sure that since you have a girl roommate now, weight it out using her scales.

I can't wait to hear how this goes.... You're going to be puking your guts out!!!

Jona said...

Don't have the milk too cold, or you'll be sure to chuck! Good luck, and I'll be back later for the laugh ;o)