Friday, October 21, 2005

Away With You!

On Wednesday morning, having been startled out of my normal routine of Sitting in Bed Having a Cup of Tea and a Ponder by Joan Rivers' extraordinary outburst (listen to it!) which dominated the normally staid (if not almost comatose) proceedings of Midweek, I padded over to my supermarket in search of provisions. I was greeted by the sight of everything looking very similar, yet also a little new and shiny. Ah, that was it! Morrisons had finally completed their takeover, it only taking them 18 months to finally purge this particular site of any remaining sign of Safeways. I loathe - loathe I say - Safeways (my favourite feature is their Reduced Counter, where clearly rancid produce is available with the bargaintastic offer of 10% knocked off) and have had the misfortune of one being my nearest supermarket in each of the three places I have lived these past 4 years, so understandably I was delighted to finally see the back of it. And it just added to my pleasure to see that the wisdom of Morrisons’ Powers That Be have decreed that certain unlucky members of staff should wear beauty pageant style golden sashes bearing the words "Welcome To Morrisons – May I Be Of Help?". If you can picture the average staff member at Holloway Road Morrisons then you can maybe share in my amusement.

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Having cast an eye over this last week and seen it consists of accounts of aluminium cans (two no less), Radio 4, a visual illusion, and a review of a supermarket, I would hereby like to nominate myself for the Most Boring Blog of the Week Award.

I will try harder. Really I will.

9 comments:

Cleavers said...

The Morrisons, formerly known as Safeway, to which you refer used to have a reduced items section just for lardy items as well - sausages, bacon, pies, food of that ilk. My roommate at the time reckoned they'd put it there just for him. He was a *very* regular patron of said shelving area.

And the chances of the staff in there helping are as slim as me waking up as Kate Moss, sticking 10 tons of coke up my nose and deciding that I want a bit of r 'n' r at some ranch in the middle of nowhere because I've got people saying lots of nasty things about me

OldHorsetailSnake said...

No, no, do not demean yourself. This has been an enigma worth resolving. And I have done it:

See, if you want to put something INTO an opening, the French know best how to make it hard for you.

Case closed.

Rob said...

Aw bless.

Well it's still been entertaining me, so keep it up!

Frankly I found the whole can saga extremely diverting.

Jona said...

I’m sorry but you’re not getting my vote for Most Boring Blog of the Week Award!

(And hadn’t you noticed, I’m vying for that ;o))

Claire said...

Nomination refused! The fact that you are the first person I know who's actually been honest about how awful that Morrison's uniform is just counts you out!

The rest of us just snigger politely under our breaths every time we encounter a staff-member on our trip around the store!

Ivy the Goober said...

Please don't say you're boring. I won't sleep until I finish reading every post. And you've been doing this for quite awhile! Although I've never talked to you, somehow I hear an accent when I read....
Do you hear a Texas Twang when you read mine? ha ha

Curly said...

Not Boring at all, young Huw. Very intriguing subject which needed to be addressed.

When I read your blog out, I give you a thick Yorkshire accent - purely for even more entertainment!

Shane said...

Prof, last week I was part of an 'outfit' that poured scorn over your credibility as a researcher. I would like to give you an opportunity to redeem yourself... and your reputation. Why not invite 'research issues' from from readers? Your duty will then be to go out and investigate for us, the people, then report back.

There are many questions out there, Huw. Could you be the man to answer some of the more pressing ones for us?

Susanne Lamido said...

Your blog is so funny and entertaining. I love your style. I was going to write something on my blog about Holloway Rd Morrisons but you beat me to it.

So refreshing to see a local resident writing about issues.

Keep it up