I was IDed at the off license yesterday. I was trying to think when the last time this happened to me was, and I’m really struggling to remember so I’m guessing not for a good 4 or 5 years. Well, I was IDed in the States about 18 months ago, but they’re ID crazy over there so I don’t count it.
Rolls out tired Flashback device
“Sir, can I see some ID sir?”
“Ermmm… let me see…. certainly!”
“Er, I’m sorry sir, I’m not sure I can accept this?”
“Don’t be an arse, it’s a passport.”
“Yes sir. But it’s not an American passport?”
“Oh yes. How thoughtless of me. Silly me for thinking that as it was good enough for US Customs it would be good enough for The Mint Karaoke Lounge.”
“Sir, do you have any other form of ID, such as a driver’s license?”
“Er, Sir? I can only accept a valid California State Driver's License?”
“Oh for fucks sake.”
“I'm sorry sir?”
“Look, stop calling me sir you patronising fuckwit, and stop turning your statements into questions. I’m feeling thirsty and lusty: let me in!”
Packs away tired Flashback device
Anyway, back to present day. I didn’t have any acceptable ID with me, so just tried flashing my slightly greying temples at the lady serving (or not serving) me, but to no avail. I suppose it may have looked like I had a tic thinking back to it now. But I didn’t mind: I was quite entertained by the prospect of someone thinking I looked as though I might be 17 or below, and anyway, I just popped into the one next door. I suppose, on reflection, I did look a bit unusual, just buying a single bottle of Lamb’s Navy Rum in the middle of the afternoon, but I would say that’s more reflective of a drinking problem than youthfulness.
4 weeks ago