Thursday, September 15, 2005


It had struck me recently that I’m actually quite happy ambling through life paying minimal attention to the fairer sex. Erm, bear with me. This isn’t The Coming Out post. Not yet. No, rather what I mean is that it’s a hassle in my life that I’ve been coming to the conclusion that I’m happy to do without. Call me lazy, unromantic, a dour old pessimist, a socially inept hermit, but the stresses and strains of setting out with deliberate and purposeful womanising in mind leaves me nonplussed rather than excited as convention supposes it should.

Of course, occasionally I suppose I am prone to lamenting the fact that my twenties are ticking by steadily and I’m failing to meet, let alone mack, anywhere near enough of the 3.5 million ladies who live on my proverbial doorstep. But then, increasingly I find the whole prospect such a chore which serves only to lumber oneself with unnecessary germ exchange, the stress of composing witty text message banter and ultimately lumbering yourself with one more unwanted past acquaintance to bump into at a bar or party and awkwardly tip toe round the whole how-it-didn’t-quite-work-out thing with. Oh, and the fact that maybe they’ve seen your hairy arse by moonlight.

My last foraying into the field of lady chasing was a rather uninspiring affair. Having spent an admittedly rather enjoyable evening with said lady it was then followed by her adopting a rather flummoxing "Ooo, Ooo, chase me Huw, chase me!" routine. Except I was like "oh, look at that, she’s running away. That’s a pity. I suppose. Meh". A few weeks later a mutual friend collared me.
"Why didn’t you call her again?" she demanded
"Erm, she didn’t seem keen." I shrugged.
"She really liked you though. She was playing it cool. That’s the way it works!" Mutual friend said exasperatedly.
"Do I look like Wile E. Coyote or something? Bit full of herself anyway, eh? I didn’t like her enough to jump through hoops."

Nowadays, if I don’t feel a spark with someone, I’d rather not bother. As Joni Mitchell sang: "If there’s no good reception for me then tune me out, cause honey who needs the static?". And in all honesty, I don’t feel that spark with many people too often.

But wait. Where am I going with this? Well, despite my glum and perhaps rather sour outlook, I’ve still managed to meet someone really special. Which is obviously fantastic for so many reasons. But it also makes me confident that – if this one doesn’t work out – in the future I need not stress about seeking people out, because eventually a real gem like this turns up without you even looking for it, and makes everything else pale by comparison.


Curly said...

Ah, so it seems that you have almost the same outlook towards the 'game' as I do, all be it that mine can be summed up in one sentence..

"Sometimes I just can't be bothered with it"

But thanks for writing the post anyway - it's nice hearing that from someone with a better command of words than myself!

deanne said...

I've been single since Oct 2003 - I think I'm just lazy - like you say, I just can't be bothered with the whole 'She-Ra'/Girlpower thing of approaching men, largely because I don't start to 'like' someone until I've actually spoken to them and seen their personality.

So I just cruise along with the one night stands, and I'm content with that for now.

Harriet said...

Now I feel I need to take you in hand. I had a friend who felt as you did and lost the will to be bothered, therefore remaining celebate for a decade. When he did indeed get plucked from his unsexual pit he told me he didn't understand why he left it so long. He has since within 2 years, shacked up with someone great and become a dad but at 38 he was cutting it exceedingly fine.

The longer you leave it the more you can't be bothered. It will become easier and therefore preferable to serve oneself (I had girlfriend once who's overtly selfish boyfriend who serve himself first thing in the morning while she was sleeping because he couldn't be bothered to have a shag).

Let that warn you. ;-)

y-vonne said...

Am I right in thinking this was a code to say that you are just waiting for me :-)?

Lanette said...

I couldn't agree with you more, it IS fantastic! I'm just still so shocked you weren't already snatched up before you met this girl! (you have such a way with words, too, just lovely)

I have every faith and hope in the world that this will work out for you and this lucky girl. If she's smart, she will see how wonderful you are, and will jump on the chance to see where it will go. I have to say, I'm quite jealous...

oh, wait...

Matthew said...

Yeah, I think it happens when one is not looking for it. I wouldn't waste energy on playing games, either.

Shane said...

(In the voice of Austin Powers) Oh Huw, be-have.

That is a very clever set-up for the last paragraph, you old hairy-arsed romantic.

Rob said...

"Nowadays, if I don’t feel a spark with someone, I’d rather not bother. As Joni Mitchell sang: "If there’s no good reception for me then tune me out, cause honey who needs the static?". And in all honesty, I don’t feel that spark with many people too often."

Oh lord. That's precisely my attitude.

Which probably means I'm turning straight - ye gods, help!

Lucy said...

"Now I feel I need to take you in hand."

- Harriet

That's straight-forward enough anyway.

Seriously, nice post. Heart-warming in a non-sick-making way.