Friday, August 26, 2005

The Wonders of Technology

Somewhat amusing episode this morning.

"Beep Beep!"
Ah, a text from The Otter (well, it actually goes "walla walla wow", but I thought that might just confuse people).
"Hey Huw, r u on Vodafone monthly? Otter".
Get to work, oh fingers of fury!
"Alas I am not, my dear Otter."

I think no more of it, as The Otter oft moves in mysterious ways. But then...
"Ring Ring!"
Hark! The Otter calls (well, it actually is a jaunty whistle that is emitted, but, you know, see above). Opening pleasantries ensue. Followed by (from me):
"So Otter, it is rare for you to call at such an hour, and I dare say you sound a little sheepish. Most un-Otter like."
"Yeah well, it's about that Vodafone thing. I need to find someone trustworthy who's got a monthly contract with Vodafone."
"Already established, old bean. The point to: get."
"Yeah, well... I sort of need to access something on the Vodafone website, but it won't let me as I'm only pay-and-go, and you need to have a contract."
"This, on the surface, all sounds terribly dull Otter. But, for some reason where you are involved, I suspect it is probably not. Once you elaborate some."
"See, last night, I got into a drunken text [SMS] flirting session with Girl Who Will In No Way Be Named, and after a bit of Otter badgering..."
"Please, don't mix your mammal metaphors Otter, it confuses me."
"Sorry, after I pestered her a bit, she ended up sending me a photo-picture of her shaven minge."
"[pause] Indeed?"
"Yes, but it's gone to some stupid website I can't get into for some reason. And I really want to see it!"
"It does sound... interesting to say the least. And you say we can't see it?"
"Not without someone with a Vodafone contract accessing it for us."

Naturally, at this point I told The Otter I was above such puerile pursuits and bade him good day. I in no way sent an email round some acquaintances casually enquring if they had a Vodafone Monthly Contract. I said in no way.

7 comments:

y-vonne said...

See, they didn't have camera phones when I was dating. You were forced to rely on inuendo and follow through. Nice tease she has going: poor Otter, he doesn't stand a chance.

Curly said...

That's a cruel thing to do to the young marine mammal!

It's nice that you are the stereotypical mate that would in NO WAY use your disadvantaged friends to get peeks at girls.

Lanette said...

Hmm...how does that saying go? About protesting too much? I'm not sure I believe you, Huw. 10 bucks says you get a sneaky-peek by the end of the weekend...

I had to almost get up and close my door at work because I was unable to stifle the laughter. How do you get yourself into such situations?

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Tell me, is the camel toe worth a post of its own?

Shane said...

Yes, this business of the photo of the shaven minge, sounds like the lady's playing hard-to-get. Or she's a crack operator in the Vodafone Undercover Contract Sales Unit.

Claire said...

I take it the Otter hasn't realised that you can access these sites using a normal pc and just typing the address in.....all that public embarrasment he could have saved himself...that is unless he used a library computer....

Jamie Dawn said...

I love the "Otter badgering" part. Made me laugh.