Somewhat amusing episode this morning.
Ah, a text from The Otter (well, it actually goes "walla walla wow", but I thought that might just confuse people).
"Hey Huw, r u on Vodafone monthly? Otter".
Get to work, oh fingers of fury!
"Alas I am not, my dear Otter."
I think no more of it, as The Otter oft moves in mysterious ways. But then...
Hark! The Otter calls (well, it actually is a jaunty whistle that is emitted, but, you know, see above). Opening pleasantries ensue. Followed by (from me):
"So Otter, it is rare for you to call at such an hour, and I dare say you sound a little sheepish. Most un-Otter like."
"Yeah well, it's about that Vodafone thing. I need to find someone trustworthy who's got a monthly contract with Vodafone."
"Already established, old bean. The point to: get."
"Yeah, well... I sort of need to access something on the Vodafone website, but it won't let me as I'm only pay-and-go, and you need to have a contract."
"This, on the surface, all sounds terribly dull Otter. But, for some reason where you are involved, I suspect it is probably not. Once you elaborate some."
"See, last night, I got into a drunken text [SMS] flirting session with Girl Who Will In No Way Be Named, and after a bit of Otter badgering..."
"Please, don't mix your mammal metaphors Otter, it confuses me."
"Sorry, after I pestered her a bit, she ended up sending me a photo-picture of her shaven minge."
"Yes, but it's gone to some stupid website I can't get into for some reason. And I really want to see it!"
"It does sound... interesting to say the least. And you say we can't see it?"
"Not without someone with a Vodafone contract accessing it for us."
Naturally, at this point I told The Otter I was above such puerile pursuits and bade him good day. I in no way sent an email round some acquaintances casually enquring if they had a Vodafone Monthly Contract. I said in no way.
4 weeks ago