Thursday, August 18, 2005

Uncle Agony

I met up with my friend Tim last night. Tim’s just come out of a two-year relationship, so I was offering my weathered old ear and my tried and trusted shoulder.
“The thing is Huw....” he said hesitatingly.
“Yes, Yes?” I encouraged him. “Please, you know you can talk to me.”
“I just... I just...”
“Hold it together man!” I ordered. “Don’t break down on me now, not here in the pub! Just take a deep breath.”
“Well...” he continued guardedly.
“Well... I’ve been trying to build up a false sense of sorrow over this whole thing, and try as I might, I can’t help but come to the conclusion I’m really relieved it’s over.”
“Yes. Yes.... A tricky one,” I agreed. “We all need some self indulgent self pitying down time. If you don’t feel sorry for yourself in this world, who the hell will?”
“Indeed, good sir, indeed!”
“I trust you’ve tried break-up albums?”
“Naturally. But I put on Blood on the Tracks, and all I could think was ‘this is by far my favourite Dylan album and I don’t listen to it nearly enough’.”
“Hmmm. Beck’s Sea Change?”
“That’s even less effective. It actually makes me happy.”
“Maybe you could put together a break-up mix tape? Carol King’s It’s Too Late, All Things Must Pass, all that sort of thing. And never underestimate the power of Duran Duran’s Ordinary World.”
“Yes, maybe that’s the way forward. Or, rather, backward.”
“Glad to help. Or, rather, hinder.”


y-vonne said...

You are wonderfully supportive. Nice to know that your uncle has you around to celebrate .... errr ... I mean commisserate...

OldHorsetailSnake said...

It is always wise to give help when none is needed or wanted. It demonstrates what a caring soul you are.

Shane said...

Tim is evidencing one of the worst cases of denial that I've ever seen. Continue with the programme. If there's no change in say a week or two, it may be down to you to suggest a more aggressive course of therapy. We're all thinking of you, and Tim.

weeps, silently

Curly said...

Well done for being so caring! A friend of mine, Andy, told me that he had just finished his two year relationship and I replied "Thank FUCK for that, you might fucking cheer up a bit now!"
He was shocked that I had said something different to all his other mates, but he said he felt 200 times better for it!

Send any hopeless cases in my direction please, minimum fee £40.

Koala Mentala said...

Huw, you should work on a suicide hotline. Do you want me to try and get you a job at one? I think I totally can.

Meow said...

Just keep him busy. Keeping ones self occupied always works. He's fairly o.k. anyway. Give him some heavy duty rock to rattle his brain. He'll be too shaken (not stirred) for thoughts about the ex.
Give him System of A Down's cd, that'll keep him thinking.
BTW like your blog.

noel459clare said...

='Brand New News From The Timber Industry!!'=

========Latest Profile==========
Energy & Asset Technology, Inc. (EGTY)
Current Price $0.15

Recognize this undiscovered gem which is poised to jump!!

Please read the following Announcement in its Entierty and
Consider the Possibilities
Watch this One to Trade!

Because, EGTY has secured the global rights to market
genetically enhanced fast growing, hard-wood trees!

EGTY trading volume is beginning to surge with landslide Announcement.
The value of this Stock appears poised for growth! This one will not
remain on the ground floor for long.

Keep Reading!!!!


-Energy and Asset Technology, Inc. (EGTY) owns a global license to market
the genetically enhanced Global Cedar growth trees, with plans to
REVOLUTIONIZE the forest-timber industry.

These newly enhanced Global Cedar trees require only 9-12 years of growth before they can
be harvested for lumber, whereas worldwide growth time for lumber is 30-50 years.

Other than growing at an astonishing rate, the Global Cedar has a number of other benefits.
Its natural elements make it resistant to termites, and the lack of oils and sap found in the wood
make it resistant to forest fire, ensuring higher returns on investments.

the wood is very lightweight and strong, lighter than Poplar and over twice
as strong as Balsa, which makes it great for construction. It also has
the unique ability to regrow itself from the stump, minimizing the land and
time to replant and develop new root systems.

Based on current resources and agreements, EGTY projects revenues of $140 Million
with an approximate profit margin of 40% for each 9-year cycle. With anticipated
growth, EGTY is expected to challenge Deltic Timber Corp. during its initial 9-year cycle.

Deltic Timber Corp. currently trades at over $38.00 a share with about $153 Million in revenues.
As the reputation and demand for the Global Cedar tree continues to grow around the world
EGTY believes additional multi-million dollar agreements will be forthcoming. The Global Cedar nursery has produced
about 100,000 infant plants and is developing a production growth target of 250,000 infant plants per month.

Energy and Asset Technology is currently in negotiations with land and business owners in New Zealand,
Greece and Malaysia regarding the purchase of their popular and profitable fast growing infant tree plants.
Inquiries from the governments of Brazil and Ecuador are also being evaluated.


The examples above show the Awesome, Earning Potential of little
known Companies That Explode onto Investor�s Radar Screens.
This stock will not be a Secret for long. Then You May Feel the Desire to Act Right
Now! And Please Watch This One Trade!!


All statements made are our express opinion only and should be treated as such.
We may own, take position and sell any securities mentioned at any time. Any statements that express or involve discussions with respect
to predictions, goals, expectations, beliefs, plans, projections, objectives, assumptions or future events or performance are
not statements of historical fact and may be "forward, looking
statements." forward, looking statements are based on expectations, estimates
and projections at the time the statements are made that involve a number of risks and uncertainties which could cause actual results
or events to differ materially from those presently anticipated. This newsletter was paid $3,000 from third party (IR Marketing).
Forward,|ooking statements in this action may be identified through the use of words such as: "projects", "foresee", "expects". in compliance with Se'ction 17. {b), we disclose the holding of EGTY shares prior to the publication of this report. Be aware of an inherent conflict of interest resulting from such holdings due to our intent to profit from the liquidation of these shares. Shares may be sold at any time, even after positive statements have been made regarding the above company. Since we own shares, there is an inherent conflict of interest in our statements and opinions. Readers of this publication are cautioned not to place undue reliance on forward,looking statements, which are based on certain assumptions and expectations involving various risks and uncertainties that could cause results to
differ materially from those set forth in the forward- looking statements. This is not solicitation to buy or sell stocks, this text is
or informational purpose only and you should seek professional advice from registered financial advisor before you do anything related with buying or selling stocks, penny stocks are very high risk and you can lose your entire investment.

Lucy said...

'Brand New News From The Timber Industry!!'

You don't say.

Shane said...

Huw, I don't like what these timber industry people are doing to your comments box. You used to have such a nice comments box.

Huw said...

Clearly I have been identifed by the Timber Industry People as having an audience receptive to Timber ads.

Therefore Shane, I think you are indirectly responsible for this unwholesome development and must accept the blame. QED.

EGTY my arse.